I think scott just propositioned me for sex
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
