i was born a porn star she said
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
