This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
