my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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