Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
