i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
