How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
