Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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