How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
