it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
