My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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