Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
