DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Randomize
