I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
