dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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