You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
