They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
