there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
He did a backflip because drugs
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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