I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
