I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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