Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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