The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
