Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
