i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
So much Jack, so little girl.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
