just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
