dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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