Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
