And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
you inspire me to be a worse person
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I deserve to be covered in dicks
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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