Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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