he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
