dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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