Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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