I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
