yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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