i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
ttyl tear gas
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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