So drunk its hurt
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
