I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
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