I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
