Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
