so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
