youre lurking in front of me
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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