i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize