So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
