She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
