we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
We are two peas in an std pod
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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