wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
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