At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
