i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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