He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
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