Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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