On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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