I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
