the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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