i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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