Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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