Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Randomize
