I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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