Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
