I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
