How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
